If you’ve trained long enough, you already know this truth:

👉 Confidence is everything in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

It affects your timing, your decisions, your reactions, your endurance, your ability to problem-solve, and your ability to stay calm under pressure.

But confidence isn’t something you “just have” or “don’t have.”

Confidence is built.

Confidence is earned.

Confidence is practiced.

And most importantly…

👉 Confidence can be destroyed if you don’t know what’s killing it.

Today, I want to share the 5 biggest confidence killers in BJJ, based not only on 36 years on the mats, but on everything I’ve lived, struggled through, and learned the hard way.

Because the truth is this:

Change happens fast… but awareness takes time.

Awareness is the real work.

Awareness is what allows you to see the patterns that limit your confidence.

Once you see the pattern, then you can self-regulate your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors — instead of being controlled by them.

Let’s break it down.

1. Confidence Killer #1: Fear of Disappointing Others

This one destroys more competitors than anything else.

• “What will my coach think if I lose?”

• “What will my teammates say?”

• “What if I don’t live up to expectations?”

This fear increases anxiety, creates muscle tension, and leads you to freeze or overthink in matches — which prevents you from performing at your best.

👉 Solution: Focus on A.C.E. — Actions, Concentration, and Effort.

You can’t control what anyone thinks.

You can control how you show up.

2. Confidence Killer #2: Comparing Yourself to Others

Every academy has someone who learns faster.

Someone more athletic.

Someone naturally gifted.

If you constantly compare yourself, you lose sight of your own path.

You forget your strengths.

You start fighting battles that are not yours.

👉 Solution: Compare Yourself ONLY to Your Yesterday.

Be 1% better in:

• awareness

• discipline

• reactions

• self-regulation

• decision-making

That’s the real win.

3. Confidence Killer #3: Focusing on Results Instead of Performance

This one gets everyone — white belt to black belt, Master 1 to Master 7.

When you obsess over:

• winning

• the podium

• the medal

• the bracket

• the opponent

you trigger anxiety and self-doubt.

And anxiety is the enemy of confidence.

👉 Solution: Performance > Outcome.

Ask yourself before every match:

“What are my performance goals?”

Not:

“Will I win this match?”

Focus on playing your A-game, executing your strategy, and staying composed.

4. Confidence Killer #4: Negative Self-Talk

If your internal dialogue sounds like:

• “I’m not good enough.”

• “I always mess this up.”

• “Everyone else is better than me.”

…you’re training your brain to lose before the match even begins.

👉 Solution: Intercept + Reframe.

This is where the 3 Rational R’s come in:

1️⃣ Recognize the root of the issue, the negative thought

2️⃣ Reevaluate and self-regulate the thought

3️⃣ Reframe the thought with a positive mantra

This is not pretending.

This is training your mind — the same way you train your body.

5. Confidence Killer #5: Ignoring What You Can Control

You already know this deeply:

👉 When you focus on things outside your control, you weaken your confidence.

Examples:

• Your opponent’s strength

• The referee

• The bracket

• The ruleset

• Who’s watching

• What others expect

This creates anxiety, frustration, and a loss of emotional control.

👉 Solution: MASTER A.C.E.

✔ Actions — What you do

✔ Concentration — Where you place your attention

✔ Effort — How much you give

When you master A.C.E., you take your power back.

Putting It All Together

If you want to build unshakable confidence, remember:

📌 Awareness comes first.

📌 Self-regulation comes next.

📌 Reframing creates momentum.

📌 A.C.E. keeps you grounded.

📌 Focusing on what you can control reduces anxiety and muscle tension.

Confidence is not a switch.

It’s a practice — a daily practice.

Just like authenticity.

And everything I teach is something I’ve lived.

If I haven’t lived it, I will tell you:

I don’t know.

Want to Deepen Your Confidence, Authenticity, and Mindset?

Inside The BJJ Mental Coach Masters Community, you’ll find:

🥋 Online Courses on mindset, emotional regulation, and performance

🧠 Monthly Masterclasses

🎥 Competition Strategy Lab (including reaction videos of your matches)

🎤 Exclusive Interviews with world champions

📘 Study Group based on books I’m currently reading

💬 A community of Masters competitors committed to growth

👉 Learn more at https://www.thebjjmentalcoach.com/the-bjj-mental-coach-community 

Confidence is built.

Confidence is practiced.

Confidence is available — to anyone willing to do the work.

And you’re not doing it alone.